Fast forward a few weeks later and yet again he has borrowed your car and returned it with an empty tank of petrol with old newspapers and cheeseburger wrappers strewn across the back seat. You find it very hard to believe that not long ago this would've been something you would have smiled at. All you can seem to feel is seriously pissed off. Next thing you know he is not returning your calls when he says he will, taking a hell of a long time to reply to texts and feeding you the excuse, 'babe I'm just so busy with work right now' when you can clearly see him socialising to his heart's content on facebook.
You reminisce back to when things were great, you were planning trips together and he couldn't go to sleep without wishing you pleasant dreams first. He would look you in the eye with conviction and tell you he had never felt this way before. And you lapped it all up...
But of course, after a certain amount of wining and dining there comes a time when you are going to realise whether this guy really wants to be with you or everything has just been bullshit and he was probably just a little bored when you came along. And that's when you're left high and dry; always disastrous. The quote 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned' comes to mind- and that's putting it lightly.
You see, we women are emotional creatures; we aren't the type to sulk and silently sook. We are more inclined to get vocal. Real vocal. We aren't afraid of confrontation and it's pretty damn frustrating when you just want answers and the guy is just leaving you with more bloody questions! Grrrrrr... So after shit has well and truly hit the fan and you've both had a nasty swipe at one another, things often cool down and you both go your separate ways swearing never to cross paths ever again.
But chemistry is a funny thing, and sometimes there is just enough to make you want to give things a second chance. You may find yourselves drawn to one other with a magnetism you just haven't found in anyone else and frankly you don't want to find in the arms of another. You think back to all the good times (conveniently forgetting all the rest in between) and wonder if there could be a way to salvage all that has happened.
But no matter how much he says he wants you back and that he finally has his priorities sorted, you can't just put your rose-tinted lenses back on and go back to where things left off. First of all, things ended in a war zone so picking up where you left off just means going back into battle and secondly the love is tainted and you've probably said some really hurtful things to one another that can't be taken back, some that may stay etched in your memories forever.
And even if you are willing to overlook all of that, your friends are undoubtedly convinced that this guy is a complete bastard who doesn't deserve you in the slightest. And they're not far from wrong. Say you do end up together, with the 2.5 kids and a white picket fence. Will you really be happy to divulge the details of how you met to your little ones? 'Oh daddy ended up sleeping with half the town before he realised I was good enough for him' hardly the words of a fairytale romance.
And let's take a look at dinners and group dates. Do you really want others whispering about the tumultuous beginnings of your relationship? 'Ooh when they first got together he changed his girls as often as he changed his Facebook status.' Let's face it, is this leopard really going to change his spots for you? If your history includes more drama than The Bold and the Beautiful then it's not going to be the ideal basis for a strong healthy relationship. And if a guy has the ability to send your stress levels soaring then you must be careful not to mistake this as passion. It's just downright destructive.
So once you've started to ignore your Lothario and he has inevitably begun skulking back, head bowed and shoulders hunched over with a certain air of humbleness (I prefer pathetic-ness) just walk away. This guy’s past is less appealing than a face full of puberty induced acne. And that's saying something. As Soft Cell once sung 'Once I ran to you, now I'll run from you.' So get out while you can ladies! This love is tainted!
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