Something Old, something New...

Men, they're like a fine wine. The older they get, the better they get. Or so I thought... You see, last year I was all about older men. No more young boys in their early 20's, still sorting out their lives and renting studio apartments in the city. I wanted an established, refined gentleman. Someone who had already had a long-term relationship and a man who could afford to pick up the cheque. Not a miserly UNI student who scrutinized the cocktail prices before I was allowed to order my White Russian.

Well I certainly got what I wanted in those regards. What I wasn't counting on, was what came along with these 'older' men. The first being that the majority of these guys aren't interested in hitting the gym. They were probably arrogant enough to think that their salaries would suffice for that minor detail. Well they were wrong. Needless to say it was kind of a worry when I noticed that my man had more curves than me - and in all the wrong places.

Curves aside, the other thing is monogamy. I automatically assumed that because these guys were older and had played the field for quite some time, they were now ready to settle down into something serious and throw away their casual liaisons. I couldn't have been more wrong! In fact I'm pretty sure that if a guy is past his thirties and still hasn't found the right girl then there is obviously something not quite right. The term 'eternal bachelor' comes to mind, and so far I haven't been wrong.

Another surprise was their mentality; set in stone. These guys weren't very flexible when it came to compromising anything. They had been around the block and if I wanted them to stick around then I had to bend to their rules. I found this out when I asked my then-boyfriend to try a caramel cappuccino instead of a regular one. The shock on my face was evident after he snapped, 'I know how I like my coffee thank you very much.' Well that was the last time I tried to inject a bit of variety in this guys life, what's that saying; can't teach an old dog new tricks?

After being romanced by a few of these dinosaurs I began to miss the young, athletic, impressionable men I once dated. I missed their youthful skin, sentimental gifts, optimism, and bronzed six packs. Suddenly these power tripping older types weren't so appealing. This became clear when I was watching the movie 'Valentine's Day.' Upon seeing a very buff and vibrant Taylor Lautner perform a front flip, I marvelled at his athleticism and thought back to my ex. If he tried that he'd probably need a hip replacement.

So once again I enter the single world, ready to cast my rod, this time using different bait, one that will lure in those fresh young things. Or at least someone who's the same age as me. Maybe that's the solution? Leave behind the senior citizens as well as the toy boys and go for someone that shares my Chinese horoscope. If that's the plan then my next mission will be hunting down a sensitive new age 'rat'! Oh dear...