So you had something that fairytales were made of and you honestly thought it was going to last forever (or at least a really, really long time). You had introduced him to your friends, he was the first thing on your mind when you woke up and a little text message from him would send you sky-high and you felt as if you were floating on air. Lovely wasn't it? And then just as things were going oh so smoothly he hits you with the bombshell; it's over.
It's a shock to the system as you try to comprehend the how and why and the what now? You skim over the past few weeks to try to discover what went wrong and at which moment. You pore over little details and things you could have done differently as you (in a rather unglamorous fashion) choke on your tears and sob your little heart out. Well girlfriend, have your little hour of pain, agony, suffering and what have you but for goodness sake do not let it drag on past the next day.
A breakup; when seen in a positive light, can be a 'break-through.' Turn off your emotions and think with your head and see the situation in an objective light. Look at all the reasons of why it couldn't work whether it be age, you were both headed in different directions or he was just so politically incorrect about everything. Because when someone dumps your ass it's your chance to get out and re-invent yourself. And it's also time to take all the things he didn't like about your lifestyle and live it up! Maybe he hated you spending time with your girlfriends, going shopping or he was absolutely horrified by how much you partied; well it's time to slip on those skyscraper heels, slam back those tequilas and hit every single dance floor around town. Because when you can revel in the very things he detested, it can be extremely liberating and it shows you that you can't be with someone who holds you back in life. You need someone who will encourage you.
An absolute must is to change that playlist on your iPod. By all means please delete all those sappy love songs and fill it up with tracks that send you on a natural high. You want music that inspires and gives you the energy to move on with you life and that will allow you to let go of someone you never really wanted anyway.
And don't leave a couple of 'your' songs in there for the sake of being sentimental; all it takes is one little song to lull you into a false sense of melancholy that will make you think you actually want this guy back; trust me you don't. That's just hormones playing you. We women are emotional creatures and are always willing to make a relationship work because we actually care about the person in question and are absolutely committed (even when it's a lost cause) where guys are more the hump them and dump them type. You catch my drift? So when your thoughts start drifting back to how he sang that mix 106.5 worthy tune to you and you really thought things would work out; stop, switch off and throw on some Livin' Joy/Don't Stop Moving, you will instantly be snapped out of your trance.
Now the best thing about being newly single and back on the market? Well we all know the expression that when it rains it pours and all those bachelors that you turned down while you were seeing someone else are now looking incredibly good. Often when someone hits us up with the 'it's not you, it's me' it's life's code for 'there's something right around the corner that's looking a whole lot better for you and you need to be single so that you can take advantage of it!'
Last but not least make sure you are looking smoking hot. I don't care what you need to do; manicure, hair extensions, gym, and solarium; just go out there and give yourself a make over. But if you already look hot (some of these guys are actually blind and don't realise your worth- they'll be kicking themself once you're gone) then go work it and find someone who can't wait to see you, can't wait to call you, can't wait to introduce you to his friends and feels lucky to have you. Men are curious creatures and so many times, love to come crawling back claiming they have made one huge mistake and want you back, but that's when you realise that all the things you compromised for this jerk are not worth it and you are better off without him.
By all means have your grieving and mourning period but please for the love of God, do not dwell! As soon as you start thinking about him switch off, get busy, take your mind elsewhere or chuck on some music. You need to re-program your thought patterns so they don't immediately meander off to your ex and instead are now focused on you, what you want out of life, your goals and your newfound freedom. It's the time to finally get your driver's license, go for that promotion or take that holiday. This was not a break-up; it's a break-through!
