Crushing on Nothing

The other day I was lying in bed contemplating sleep when iPod shuffle directed me to The Carpenters/Close to you. The soft, romantic melody enveloped me in a blanket of bliss as I envisioned a balmy summer night, wearing a pretty summer dress and walking along the harbour hand in hand with... Well with who? I racked my brain trying to come up with someone who I was currently crushing on but then realised the God awful truth; that I didn't like anyone.

Now for some people this would be of little interest or matter, but for me nothing is as refreshing as starting the day with the name of a certain someone on my lips. I can't deny that when there's a Romeo on my radar I simply exude excitement. Every message, call, Facebook notification or email may just be from him! Perhaps he might send flattery in the form of a photo comment or write me a dreamy message suggesting coffee or more realistically just 'like' my current status.

Then comes the anticipation where I find myself endlessly wondering, 'Does he like me?' and wondering if there's something on his end that he is feeling too. But whether my intoxication with the fine specimen in question is reciprocated isn't really the be all end all. You see, I tend to indulge in a bit of drama, so going through all the emotions of being infatuated with someone is as every bit about the highs as it is about the lows.

All of a sudden those songs I once listened to really speak to me! Haddaway's What is Love inspires a tortured anguish instead of making me want to bust some moves on the dance floor. Sure I'm met with smirks when I try to discuss how deep that song is with my friends but inside I know that I can completely relate to the dude who wrote that track. Then there's Mariah Carey's Emotions which requires a lot of self-restraint from turning Martin Place Square into a Broadway musical as I jive my way to work. You see, most songs are about some sort of love and when you have an object of your desire in mind it is then that you can completely connect to the music which in turn can make you really feel alive!

Another thing is hitting the town. When you're getting dolled up with your girlfriends and fighting over the mirror it is so much more fun when there's the possibility that you might see the guy who has the power to make your heart to go into full-blown cardiac arrest just by looking at you. Suddenly hair, makeup and clothes has never been so important and even choice of nail polish must be chosen with careful precision. He's bound to notice your extra effort as you meet each others gaze from across the room and tensions will run so high that it will feel like there's an electrical storm brewing. Ooh la la... my favourite part! It is then that I understand that Des’ree was referring to love and not drugs when she sung, 'Cause I feel so high.'

You can understand how it's a little less inspiring to walk into a bar and have an obnoxious drunk try to grind up beside you as opposed to being greeted with a tender kiss on the cheek by your gentleman in question, who politely guides you through the room with his hand resting on the small of your back.

In times like these when I have no one to swoon over and I have no text messages to analyse I can't help but yearn for someone, anyone to put me out of my monotonous misery. Well that's not entirely true... I won't just settle for anyone. It has to be someone who ignites a fire in my heart, someone charming, kind and dazzling. Looks don't really matter that much. Most of the men I've fallen for certainly didn't make me look twice when I first met them but they definitely had substance, and that was what caught my attention.

So until I stumble across my next prince charming it's back to daydreaming about other things such as winning the lottery and relaxing on a secluded island cocktail in hand and who knows perhaps the gorgeous Taylor Lautner by my side? Well there you go! There are always celebrities to fall back on when you're going through a dry spell. Now; back to that daydream of mine...